|
Saturday, September 10, 2005
a toast to new beginnings... i realize i've been using you way too long and i cant really write what i mean to jot down because too many people read you. no. i am not ashamed, dear child. it's just that your brothers have been found as well and it has already gotten me into so much trouble. i have 2 notebooks-full of thoughts; thoughts i want to share with you and you alone. right now, i dont see how that's inevitable. mother has been a little too lustful and lust is far too dangerous. to be in lusty love though is the best thing :D it's been a fun ride but i see you have been worn out. clearly, i'm too much for you. i will stop writing for now... until i find the answers i seek. goodbye, blog. you are my first. i love you so much that i choose to no longer taint you with my sins. it's only right... i want to do you justice. sincerely wishing to bury her best-kept secrets, kat *********************** hahaha! just playing you guys! it's just time to start anew. i dont want to overshadow any of the *GOOD* memories. i'd like to keep this page as it is. ... anything goes... but for sure it will take a while. til then!  *GOOD* memories ... especially GOTHIA ones. i want to cry at the thought but i find myself unable to ... things definitely have changed.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:45 PM {xoxo} Wednesday, August 24, 2005
GOTHIA is LOVE ... :) i know this is probably weeks too late but i'll write it anyway. lol. the worst thing about living with people for a month is not knowing their true colors (because their real self is sexy) ; nor having to deal with clashing personailies (because believe me, even though it was a pain in the neck, i loved it) but SAYING GOODBYE... :(
a month in europe... oh you guys have no idea how wonderful it was. during our 2nd week, i gazed at each person and hung onto the moment because i know that's probably the last time we were all going to be together as a delegation since most of the boys were off to somewhere else after gothia. ben and daniel went to norway instead of the 3rd leg in Denmark, tinio to paris, hikaru to london, bart to some place while miguel migrated to puerto rico.
after everything was done, marco went back to france, patrick came home to sweden and adrian flew off to spain. the rest of us however were left with our own thoughts and as hard as we tried to bottle up our emotions, i didnt work. it saddened everyone to think that all 56 players will never be together again in one place, living in the same school and enjoying each other's company. screw me for being all nostalgic but it really makes me wanna cry. no, darlings. it wasn't JUST fun. it was AWESOME!!! no more dancing in the hallways, noodle parties and killers. no more weird encounters with european people. no more traumatizing moments with horn dogs; guys and girls alike - being pinned to the wall, cupped in places where you're not supposed to be touched and getting hit on. no more note receiving and being treated as a goddess. hahaha. shet. i enjoyed that. but what i'm really gonna miss is the sight of waking up with 15 other girls who beg for more shut eye, eating meals in a huge table, running around like idiots, hiding from stalkers, lying about our age, playing with the kids and basically just the company of the people i have considered very dear to me. no more making fun of allyson and pairing people with a certain person, no more inside jokes and no more chances of me making people laugh until they cried. no more sweet caresses, flagging, unfaltered hand-holding, lasting hugs, all-night spooning and wet kisses. and those nights... how i miss those nights... i'm gonna miss everything. ... the freedom, being loved and taken care of... yeah. definitely that. i will never forget the Amsterdam, Denmark, Sweden; and all the memories that come along with them - the people, the cultures, the lifestyles, the relationships we formed and a lot of things that came unexpected. things sure do happen for a reason. i'd give ANYTHING just to have those 3 and a half weeks back and be given a chance to ROCK EUROPE once more! :)
"even when you've played the game of your life, it's the feeling of teamwork that you'll remember and the ones who cheered. you'll forget the play, the shots, the chances and the scores... but you'll never forget you're teammates and your coach." i love you all to bits and pieces. aaaaaaah! :D ***** leaving skool nothing to see here at 5:30 PM {xoxo} Wednesday, August 17, 2005
" this has been the most alive i've felt since we stepped off that plane... " things have been looking up for me lately. it's nice to see family and friends again. it's funny how they get excited over the stories and get all giddy when they see the pictures. haha! i just love them. i've got so many things to look forward to and have so many things going on for me... i just cant help but smile. saturday rocked! i got to see my friends from camp and spent hours with my Gothia friends. Bubba's, Max Brenner, Bollywood [sheesha baby!] then Absinthe [the dancing... oh the dancing!!!] ... we shall invade gb3 again. there will be more nights for that :) there are just some people you cant live without and there is such thing as love at first sight. those are few of the things i realized, too bad it came a month too late. but it's all good... :) IT'S ALL GOOD. :) *kat... hmmm...* *yeah? mmm...* *fuck school. i hate school* *fuck age gaps* *yeah... that too.* :D :D :D aieeeeeeeeeeeee! funny how a month can change your life... the best part is being told how it all started in a day. shit on you too. now you're not the only one who cant stop smiling. hahaha! this is lovely. leaving skool nothing to see here at 12:25 PM {xoxo} Thursday, August 11, 2005
HAPPINESS is... a month in Europe.   dreams can come true.  it can happen to you  if you're young at heart... :)  being grown up  is definitely not half as fun  as growing up.  these are some  of the best days  of OUR lives.  just check out my multiply for more, byotches! leaving skool nothing to see here at 2:05 AM {xoxo} Wednesday, August 10, 2005
so long... to you... my love. i remember that night all too well. i woke up with beads of sweat trickling down my neck, nape and spine. i couldn't talk. i couldn't breathe. it was 2:45 in the morning -- i cried myself to sleep. i got up a couple of hours after acting as if nothing happened but i was heard and a part of me knew i've been found out. there's nothing more embarrassing than a 17-year old being caught having a nightmare -- screaming incessantly in the wee hours of the morning and refusing to speak of it. night came. speeches were made. awards were given. it all just broke my heart. i didn't want these people to see me cry but i couldnt help it. i wanted to believe them when they said i'd be alright but the pain i felt was nothing i have ever encountered before. i was just wishing so hard that that omen wouldnt come true, that i would be rid of all these fears. but i knew i wasnt gonna be okay. that's one of the many reasons why i didn't want to go back to the country - i didn't want to be proven right. i scare myself sometimes. my 2-day deadline turned into weeks until i didnt get the chance to play at all. what's the use of getting your ideal position and starting as a forward in an international competition when you're too injured to even walk. i've been so eager to play even though i know i couldn't. so hopeful that one day i'll wake up and find myself being able to run again but instead i wake up knowing that my instincts were right, as usual -- at 2:45 pm today, it's official... my nightmare had become a reality. my MRI results were interpreted and i got a 2nd opinion from an ortho[something] and found out that i have one fucked up left knee with more than one kind of injury. *grade II MCL sprain* *ACL* - acute high-grade partial or complete tear in involving the anterior cruciate ligament, associated with bony trabecular injury as described *complex tear involving the posterior horn of the medial meniscus *radial tear involving the junction of the anterior horn and body of the lateral meniscus *moderate joint effusion long story short... i'm gonna have an operation in 2 weeks and undergo theraphy starting tomorrow until i get better. i wont be able to play for 6 months and i have to redesign a whole new diet to make sure that no extra pounds will pack on my ass while i spend half a year of my life without football --- the most important thing to me. well, besides family, friends and money. you know what i mean. puga. what is it with 2:45? that's also the time i got injured... more or less. this really sucks bulls' balls. i'm ruined. life is shit.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 6:35 PM {xoxo} Thursday, August 04, 2005
they'll fade out in my silent screams. i'll quote kylie when i say i can't believe the end has come and gone. those 3 and a half weeks in europe is probably the highlight of the year, if not my "childhood" life. knowing what i know now and coming home with all these experiences or the things i have yet to experience... a private emotion fills me tonight. elaborating was never really my thing. bottomline, when you spend a month in europe getting to know someone... you can't help but fall. i don't even care if it's forbidden. yep. this is crazy mad love. :)
leaving skool nothing to see here at 3:20 AM {xoxo} Sunday, July 03, 2005
therefore i conclude, money makes this world go round. i scored 2 goals last friday. i think i made someone cry... it made me feel like scum. it doesnt help to know that you hurt someone you hold so dear and that you're scared shitless to ask for an apology. shoot me. i went bar hopping with issa... the night was almost complete but then something came up. i could've been happier. scored 6 goals last saturday... that doesnt change the fact that i wanted to break HER neck. stupid shit. pardon the unfinished sentences... i really dont wanna dwell on these things. easy lang kat, easy lang. i went to the Gothia meeting in Alabang to finalize some things so i had to skip school. it was one hell of a morning. my sister didnt have school so she accompanied me to Shang to shop for the stuff on the list. the father gave me 5 digits!!! i dont think i've ever been given that much money TO SPEND in a day since i hit puberty. bwahaha! how fun. i still have a lot of things to accomplish. so many stuff to buy... why oh why is my mother out of the country. she's supposed to be the one getting troubled with these things. looking at it on the bright side, i really enjoy having people wait on my hand and foot, getting what i want in a wave. it gives me that splendid feeling. i went to ateneo to talk to some coaches. i'm really doubting myself. either that or wala lang talagang gwapo. nah. WALA LANG TALAGANG GWAPO. hahaha! it's not as if i looked anyway. if it didnt catch my attention the first time, then it's not worth a second look. i dont wanna waste more shopping time as it is coz my sister got us stuck for about half an hour in the parking lot coz she didnt know how to reverse!! we were in a compromising situation and she just didnt want to risk paying for damages so i asked this dude for help. thanks man. i'll pray for you. lmfao! speaking of compromising situations... i did something really Gotti. talk about monetary compensation... lately... i've had too much of that. slap me if i've become too obnoxious. not too hard though... i might have to sue you. lol! kidding. my teammates and i had this talk about the trip by the pool at drea's place. they told me what could happen, supposed to happen, gonna happen and even predicted a thing or two. most of them are to my advantage but it's up to me if i'm gonna choose to follow that course or make my own thing happen. to tell you the truth... about that bet... i dont want to prove them right. though i know it cant be helped. don't expect. don't fear. don't hold back... just be open. be ready. anything can happen. oooooooh! how exciting :D
leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:45 PM {xoxo} Wednesday, June 29, 2005
7 goals from me to you. i've been waiting for this moment for the longest time. i kept saying: why cant July come too soon???. now that it's finally here... almost here that is... i cant help but wish for time to freeze. i'm not gonna worry how things would turn out when i'm g0ne. i know i'm not gonna be missed.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:25 PM {xoxo} Sunday, June 26, 2005
enjoying rainbow-filled saturdays where the butterflies are not for the taking. whenever i'm excited... i dance. whenever i dance... i get excited. :D  cheers to those football camp-filled summer days.  no more tears :D [BORACAY... the island speaks for itself.]      ... and a toast to those who weren't photographed. [TEEN EXPLORE ADVENTURE, SUBIC]       new friends will definitely be remembered... [CAMP EXPLORE: MARINE CAMP, BATANGAS]    new memories will never be forgotten... [CAMP EXPLORE: SURVIVAL GUIDE, ANTIPOLO]  new bonds formed will only be strengthened... just as the old ones will always be treasured. I LOVE EVERYONE who has been a part of MY LIFE. :D [PHILIPPINE DELEGATION 2005]  and i look forward to what else i'm going to be blessed with. :) MABUHAY!!! viva PILIPINAS!!!
leaving skool nothing to see here at 6:25 PM {xoxo} |
 i like goin out with friends and traveling.. you cant expect me to stay in one place for a long time. i'm a soccer player and i'm 16 yrs old. i have a cd collection and i love music. 
|
